My name is Tamara Thomas. I suffered the loss of my only child in May of 2008. This mind-boggling loss and subsequent pain changed me in ways I am still discovering.
I was born in Sun Valley, Idaho a bunch of years ago to a wonderful set of parents and a problematic older brother. He and I didn’t start getting along until we were both near adulthood, and now we are quite close. He’s been my hero many times through the loss of our parents and my daughter. I hope I never have to return the favor.
I live in Arizona and am the editor of a small-town newspaper here. I adopted a wonderful little girl (who keeps getting bigger!) in 2010. She was 8 years old when she came to live with me. I frequently refer to her as my little “lifesaver.” Perhaps we are that for each other.
More recently, I have been fortunate to add two lovely teenage sisters to my family. They lost what remained of theirs, sadly, so we have happily joined forces. Being a working single mom of now three young ladies, I am busier than ever, but also happier than I have been since – well, since Ava died.
I have and love Doberman Pincers and critters in general. I have been an artist all my life, but have hung up my paintbrushes recently. It seems I don’t have any inspiration to paint, but plenty to write. So here I am.
Feel free to contact me through this site (tam@wherethereislife.com).
Tam, I’m sorry to hear that the desire to paint has currently departed, but oh! so much you have to share about your life with (and without Ava) physically beside you, and with you and Tina growing, sharing and healing together. Know now that your words will help others heal, too. Love you!
Tamara ,I am so sorry. Margaret called me crying and so upset. I am sorry we knew nothing about Gabby. But i am so Happy to hear that you have 3 daughters now. The pain gets easier as time goes by but you never forget. You are in my prayers.
Thank you Sandra. She was Abigail, Abby and later Ava. (not Gabby). Thanks for your prayers….
Nikki, painting will always be there if and when I have inspiration. For now, I have so many words and ideas bouncing around in my head, trying desperately to escape, that I must write. Inspiration is perhaps stronger than ever, just changing format. Thanks friend!
Tam:
This is a wonderful site, and I grieve for all of your losses alongside you, my lifetime friend, but I am so amazed by your courage and the inspiration you give from your heart to others!
We just never know how strong we are inside until we are met with challenges we never even imagined were in our destiny!
It is an honor to have known you all or our lives, and be able to keep in touch with you.
Love you always, Debbie
Tamara,
I’m so sorry you lost your precious daughter. I can’t even imagine, having 2 daughters myself, trying to live without them. Thank you for your words and your hope. Thank you for donating your daughter’s organs and giving someone else a chance to live when you going through your darkest hour. And thanks for adopting another little girl and giving her a family. You give me hope.
Susan
George Eliot (writing to a friend who was feeling the first anguish of bereavement).
“For the first sharp pangs there is no comfort; whatever goodness may surround us, darkness and silence still hang aout our pain. But slowly, the clinging companionship with the dead is linked with our living affections and duties, and we begin to feel our sorrow as a solemn initiation, preparing us for that sense of loving, pitying fellowsip with the fullest human lot, which, I must think no one who has tasted it will deny to be the chief blessedness of our life And especially to know what the last parting is, seems needful to give the utmost sanctity of tenderness to our relations with each other. . ..All the experience that makes my commnunion with your grief is summed up in a “God bless you,” which represents the swelling of my heart now, as I write, thinking of you and your sense of what has been and is not”
Thank you Judi. She really did write lovely, insightful things.
George Eliot (writing to a friend who was feeling the first anguish of bereavement).
“For the first sharp pangs there is no comfort; whatever goodness may surround us, darkness and silence still hang aout our pain. But slowly, the clinging companionship with the dead is linked with our living affections and duties, and we begin to feel our sorrow as a solemn initiation, preparing us for that sense of loving, pitying fellowsip with the fullest human lot, which, I must think no one who has tasted it will deny to be the chief blessedness of our life And especially to know what the last parting is, seems needful to give the utmost sanctity of tenderness to our relations with each other. . ..All the experience that makes my commnunion with your grief is summed up in a “God bless you,” which represents the swelling of my heart now, as I write, thinking of you and your sense of what has been and is not”
+1
tamara thank you for writing with beauty , honesty & love. I realised that the best memories are in the moment we make them. Live life , find contentment, it easier to maintain & less fleeting like hapiness. i’m so glad your enjoying each moment.
digger