When my only child was killed in a freakish single-car accident, I – like most parents – nearly lost my mind. In attempting to cope, I reached for any help I could find. I searched for writings on the subject and found too few that were helpful (bibliography to come). I have decided to post this blog in hopes that it will touch and help others, and to help me continue to deal with the chronic pain.
Tied closely in with the grief will be my own personal salvation of adoption. I now have a second daughter who continues to give me a reason to wake up each morning. This in itself continues to be a fascinating journey.
As time passes, the terrain of my grief changes, but the pain is constant. I have, not uniquely, likened it to a major amputation: The loss is never lessened; one simply learns to live with it, for better or worse. I hope in writing this blog, that I can add something of value to the lives of those who share this horrific experience.
This blog is about death. I am exploring death personally, culturally, spiritually, and metaphysically – death as a concept. I lost a husband, my mother, my father and finally my only child within a 10-year-period. All were wounds, but the loss of my child hit me on a cellular level.
This blog is about adoption and foster care. In my need for family, I decided to create one from “scratch.” This is not a “replacement” family – that is not possible. This is new, different, and well… read on.
This is about personal exploration. A journey begun in death, taking me both backward and forward on many roads, and joining with others on similar treks. Rebuilding a home, family and love from the ground up….
This blog welcomes and encourages guest posts. Please, if you have “been there” or are there now and have something to say, send it to me here or at my email: tam@wherethereislife.com.
And of course, within those topics lies the core of love. I realized recently that, as in an old song, I really didn’t know love at all….
Your still my hero…….
http://www.wherethereislife.com is amazing, bookmarked!
mma betting
I can relate to your words. I lost my daughter, Ashley May 29th 2007. It is not an experience that I would wish upon anyone. I find it impossible to find any words that come close to conveying the loss. I guess this is why there is not a word in the English language for the loss of a child. Much happiness in your new normal.
I hope you find peace…. The pain is something we just – eventually – learn to live with. It is never gone. Today, her death took my breath away once again. I literally gasped and felt the awful hurt deep in my belly…. It’s been nearly 5 years. Will it ever get better? No. Time just gives us a cushion. Happiness to you too, my friend.