Five years ago today… Five years ago, at 7:30 a.m., I hugged my daughter and told her to drive safely. “Ok Mom. See you at lunch time!” Five years ago, at 11:00 a.m., two DPS officers came to my work with “something important to talk to me about, regarding my daughter.” Five years ago, at …
Tag Archive: grief
Mar 08
Dancing again – my path to (almost) happy
In the months following my daughter’s death, I received many “gifts.” One gift came unexpectedly about four months after the accident. It was a letter from one of her classmates that included a hand-written “prayer” Ava had created for the classmate’s art project. On the small, brightly colored square of fabric were inked the words, …
Mar 06
Another mother grieves
Our little town – and the world – has suffered the loss of another remarkable young lady, and another mother has joined the most horrible club on earth: the club of grieving parents. I am so very sorry for this woman whom I have never met. She lives in my town. Her daughter was friends …
Dec 29
Christmas and grief – expressing the inexpressible
Written at Christmas, 2010 ‘Spilling over’ is bound to happen. The Christmas season has arrived, and with it all the emotions entangled therein. I have always loved Christmas. Since I was a small child and watched my mother carefully trim the fresh tree that my father had cut the day before. Christmas is …
Dec 14
No maps to traverse landscape of grief
(Written in 2008) Six months ago, I lost my only child to a fatal car accident. She would have turned 19 last September, and I would be planning her visit home from college this Christmas, if that one moment in time had not occurred. Christmastime! Normally, Abigail and I would be chatting on the phone …
Nov 17
Thanksgiving, a time for assessment, reflection
This week is Thanksgiving, a time when Americans count blessings and give thanks. It goes without saying that every day should be Thanksgiving, but this Thursday (Nov. 24) is set aside as a national holiday to give all of us a day or two away from work and routine to reflect and be grateful for …
Nov 09
Grief and the loss of friendships
Pamela Cytrynbaum, author, blogger, lecturer at Northwestern University, and companion in grief, found my blog and found what I had to say interesting. She has asked me to answer a few questions and plans to share them with her readers at http://family.lifegoesstrong.com. Question: What happens when people pull away from a grieving person. How do …
Oct 24
Loss creates permanent, irrevocable damage
I awoke for no apparent reason shortly before midnight last night and fought those wee-hour demons for nearly three hours. Why is it, while fighting for sleep, all the small, inconsequential things in life take on such gargantuan proportions? The tiny, nit-picking things that, when the light of morning arrives, are so unimportant and forgettable. …
Oct 07
Raw grief and the struggle to accept
Two months you’ve been gone from this world. … The anger that everyone talks about, that all the books and counselors say is “normal” after a loss, has nowhere to go in me. I have no place to focus this anger, so it stays inside, winding me ever tighter. I find myself short-tempered, waspish, mean-spirited. …
Sep 01
Examining what it means to grieve
I go through my life now quite differently from before. I am a changed creature since the death of my daughter. On a regular, frequent basis, I find I need to examine what it means to grieve. Days, weeks go by and I am “fine.” Then one day my feelings well up, unfocused and un-namable, …
